I can't remember who wrote that, but boy did they have this month weighed up! The dog and I are ge
tting a severe case of "stuck-in-the-house-itus"
The only entertainment has been watching the comings and goings in the tree of the rear of our home. It's an oak tree, with a fine crop of acorns. To this larder we have a guest list that includes squirrels, of course, wood pigeons and jays.
Squirrels are the most entertaining as they combine athleticism with an inborn clown culture and a Murphy tormenting streak. The poor hound watches them in the tree tops and growls threats at them. They respond by leaping about, clutching nuts and - I like to think - throwing acorns at Murphy. He then barks his intentions to them.
The wood pigeons swallow the acorns and after a few minutes, they have a very distended crop full. They are not acrobatic at all. They crash and clatter about in the trees like an accident waiting to happen.
The jays are of a different class altogether. They fly in and grab a meal and away, all in a flash of blue and reddish brown.
Murphy and I have just returned from a fishing trip. A nice rainbow trout with suicidal tendencies obliged; so it's trout pate tonight.
Whilst out and about, I noticed a flock of redwings; the first of the winter. I suppose that is goodbye to the crab apples and hawthorn berries. They are, I expect, on the menu tonight.
Over the last few days, newspapers and television have been focussing on the antics of that pair of celebrities fooling around on radio, belittling someone's granddaughter. The joint income of these two dysfunctional celebrities is greater than the gross income for some small countries.
We must have something seriously wrong when a bouffant haired Worzel Gummage look-a-like and a vocally challenged 40 year old teenager, can make the news!
At the same time this fiasco was taking place, so was the original mountain marathon. It is in the Lake District, 2500 runners complete a day run over the most impenetrable terrain. None of this new fangled global satellite technology, just compass and maps. In the most difficult conditions they had 4 inches of rain in 24 hours (nearby in Sprinkling Tarn which averages 169 inches per year). Rescue helicopters were scrambled and the panic button firmly pressed. However, all returned safely. They were well trained, very, very fit and with all correct equipment.
Imagine the dozy duo - Messers Ross and Brand in that situation.See you,